Interested parties will be invited to some form of social in the hopefully near future. We'll chat about possible rehearsal venues, times and song choices. And nonsense. Plenty of nonsense.
The Major Lift has its own website, Facebook and Twitter.
A mental health blog by a musician. Exploring personal experiences of mental illness in relation to psychological research, available treatments and other things.
So, it seems that I have started a choir. The Major Lift is a choir for people with experience of depression. I am currently seeking interest from people wanting to join, or know more. If you, or anyone you know is interested in the choir, please email me at [email protected] Interested parties will be invited to some form of social in the hopefully near future. We'll chat about possible rehearsal venues, times and song choices. And nonsense. Plenty of nonsense. The Major Lift has its own website, Facebook and Twitter.
0 Comments
So, I had my first panic attack in a year this morning. Three weeks ago I had my first session of psycho-social therapy. A friend of mine took the journey with me and I made it there and back fine. Today, I was due for my second therapy session at 8am and I'd made it to the train station on my own. The train was delayed by ten minutes and in that ten minutes, I went from OK, to being so panicked I had to go home, and fast.
At first it was just me and a few school kids. It made me think of my school days, which were largely lonely and unhappy. Slowly more kids and work-going people arrived at the station. I started to think about the train journey (a mere 4 minutes long) and being in a full carriage. I then thought about my arrival at the destination station and not knowing exactly the way after that. The noises started getting louder, the people closer and my heart faster. I wanted to cry and get the fuck out of there. I tried to assure myself that it would be fine but I wasn't listening. I walked home as fast as I could and on my return, I went into a panic attack. I phoned my therapist after I had calmed down. "Try not to be discouraged, think of it as a small blip in your progress. It's a journey and it takes time", she said. I know she's right, but that's the problem. I know that it's all a process and I'll have ups and downs. I KNOW this. But it's been five fucking years now. Five fucking years and I still can't take a train by myself. After all the things I have been capable of in my life, to loose the ability to do something so simple is really hard to deal with. But hey, onwards and upwards yeah? Blah blah fucking blah... |
AuthorIs a musician with Depression and Anxiety, and a passion for mental health development. This is a document of what she learns in her journey to understand and manage her condition, as well as what she learns of the wider issues in mental health. Archives
October 2017
Categories
All
*Please note I am not in any way, a qualified practitioner and you should not take my word as gospel. I do not intend to give advice, just explore the options available, and my experiences of them. If you feel you may be suffering from a mental health condition and you wish to seek help, please contact your doctor. If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact your doctor or call the Samaritans on 08547 90 90 90, as I did.
|