Today is a low day. I am empty and my eyes are leaking. This happens from time to time and is usually enveloped in a quilt of hopeless dispair. This time however the quilt has slipped and a blanket of defiance is draped across my shoulders in its place. My recovery over these last 7 years has been and still is, a painfully drawn out mountain terrain, but this week I have felt a change in the landscape. I can see new paths opening up and more foot holds in the rocks. This expedition is a daily battle to which I have become accustomed and as a result of my experience I am climbing with more vigour. I have slowly come to terms with my fluctuating brain and am at a point where I am determined for it not to hold me back. I have spent too many years at the mercy of my anxiety and depression and I have a renewed conviction to not waste any more time. I have been throwing myself into new things lately and this post is a documentation of the fact that things can and will change. It may sound regretably nieve to me tomorrow but for now, this is how I feel. Making my favourite Idris Elber reference the title of this post also reminds me that I never loose my sense of humour no matter what I am facing. I hope this post can be of help to someone else like me and not just a weird mash up of ill thought out metaphores.
Is a musician with Depression and Anxiety, and a passion for mental health development. This is a document of what she learns in her journey to understand and manage her condition, as well as what she learns of the wider issues in mental health.
*Please note I am not in any way, a qualified practitioner and you should not take my word as gospel. I do not intend to give advice, just explore the options available, and my experiences of them. If you feel you may be suffering from a mental health condition and you wish to seek help, please contact your doctor. If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact your doctor or call the Samaritans on 08547 90 90 90, as I did.